We need your prayers! Seriously, as in every time you think about us, every time you scroll through facebook and see one of our names, every time you run into us at Winn Dixie, if you have a list of people you pray for on a regular basis we'd love to be added to that list. You can put us right next to that crazy aunt of yours that you don't even know how to pray for except, "Lord, help her, I don't even know, she's crazy, just, help her." Well, I may be in that category soon so just add me to the list.
I'm kidding, but I'm not, I do feel pretty crazy and we really would love your prayers. I feel like missionaries when they send out those cards where they say you can support them financially or what they really want is your prayers. In your head you are like, yeah, no, you just need money (or is that just me?) Nope, they really want your prayers! If they feel like I do right now they really, really, really want you to commit to praying for them. So, I don't have any fancy cards, but I really want you to consider committing to pray for us. There are so many things I can think of to pray for, so I'm going to try to give you a list of some things to start out.
1. Pray for our biological kids. Pray that they would share us willingly. Pray that they would accept these children in our home with open arms, even when it gets hard. Pray that they would sympathize with them, that they would understand when the rules may seem blurred at times or different, or when they may become the recipients of a child's anger and grief.
We want so much for them to see and even be a part of this living picture of the gospel in our home. Pray that through these kids that will come into our home, Sterling and Ann Elizabeth will see Jesus. Pray that the gospel will be made much of in their eyes through caring for those that can't care for themselves. Pray that they would see that "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."
Pray that they will see a picture of their Father who lavishly loves them unconditionally even when they reject Him. Pray that they will see a world outside their own. It is hard to pray that when everything inside you as a parent cries out for protecting them from the ugliness of the world. But they need to see, maybe not what we as adults see, but they need to see the beautiful life they have been given. At the same time pray for their protection. Pray that God protects their little souls and minds, that they can be "in the world" beginning to learn to get their hands dirty with kingdom work, but not "of the world."
2. Pray for us as parents. We are going to be outnumbered. We are going from two to three or four, and possibly maybe even probably without the buffer of infanthood. Pray that we know how to devote ourselves to these kids' special emotional needs, while still meeting the everyday needs of S and AE. Pray that we would be quick to understand and slow to anger. Pray for patience and then more patience. I'm not always very patient. Pray for rest as I am not a good mom without rest, and when there isn't much rest pray for the Spirit to keep me going.
Pray that we understand just how to meet the needs that these kids we will be entrusted with will face. Pray that we learn to parent anew. That we will figure out what works with each kid, and that we will be able to uncover any underlying issues that may be affecting them.
3. Pray for sleep. Sleep certainly won't take away all of the emotions our kids will be dealing with, but good sleep won't add to them. My kids are great sleepers. I know I only have two, and it is certainly a gift to have good sleepers. At the same time some of that comes from training them to sleep. However, we have never put kids to bed who are grieving for their mother. Pray that we will find the right things to help them get the rest that we will all need. That we know how to help them sleep in a way that fosters attachment while at the same time doesn't create habits we can't live with long term. Pray that they will quickly learn to trust us. That we will know what to do to foster that trust. Pray for attachment. Attachment. They need attachment.
4. Pray for our marriage. That we will work as a team. I can look back and see how much God has taught us about each other. There were certainly days where I never thought we would understand each other like we do. We have gotten to that place where, for the most part, we know what the other needs, and after seven years we've never been a better team than we are at this point. God is so Good! I know we are going to need to rely on that in the coming days. We need each other! Pray that we can find time together to build upon that. Pray that through the Holy Spirit we can continue to make each other better parents.
5. Pray for our house to sell. This of course is not vital to anyone's spiritual well being, although maybe my sanity (who am I kidding I would be just as insane with more square footage). I have a feeling we are going to learn some lessons through this whole house situation, but pray that God would allow us to sell it. Of course, we are fine in our current home and we really love it, but adding more children + the always uncertainty of ages, genders, room arrangements that maybe coming and going + homeschooling, aka being here all day every day + we've got a crib set up in our bedroom right now. We could use a tiny bit more space and a better layout would be wonderful. I hate to even ask you to pray for this because it isn't really vital to what God is calling us to do, but it would be amazing if it could happen.
It's kind of crazy, when we decided to buy a home I (being the introvert/guardian of my home time that I am) prayed that we would be able to use our home for ministry, that was that part that says the Holy Spirit prays when we don't know what to pray, 'cuz that didn't come out of my nature, and I'm the world's worst hostess. Oh, little did that five year ago self know how completely literal that would become! I feel almost selfish for this one, but the request is still there.
6. Pray for these sweet children that we will soon meet. I can't even imagine what they are going through and at such a young age. A child having to leave his mother, alone brings a knot to my throat; on top of whatever is going on in their little worlds already. Then having to go live with strangers, not knowing what to expect of them. Pray for their little hearts. Pray that we can be consistent in our actions and in parenting them (I fail at consistency a lot). Pray for attachment and consistency. It is vital to a child's, and adult for that matter, well being. Pray if they haven't learned to trust adults that they can do so. Pray that we would actually be trustworthy in their eyes.
7. Pray for me. I already sometimes feel I'm going bonkers with my two. God is going to have to give me some supernatural parenting skills. We love our kids with all of our hearts, but being a parent is hard! Pray that I would rely on God everyday. That sounds cliche and churchy, but I mean that, pray that I would wake up remembering how hard this parenting thing is and how utterly desperately I need Jesus. Most days I wake up and think, once I get my coffee, I've got this. That never makes it to the end of the day. I'm pretty sure God is taking me to the cliff of myself and my own abilities, and pushing me off.
I feel like I'm at that moment when Moses was arguing with God about how he wasn't a good speaker. And God told him do it anyway. And then Moses had to walk to Egypt, I'm guessing wrestling with that thought that it was about to go down. He was about to face off with Pharaoh, and God was going to have to show up. On a really tiny (as in not saving a race of people) scale, that's the feeling I have right now. "Ok, God we are doing what we think you are calling us to, you've got to show up for us, because this is way over our heads."
8. Pray for the biological parents. No matter what they are going through, they aren't going to have their kids in their homes! That's huge! For a while, actually because of going through the adoption process, I have had a huge desire to help single mothers who are struggling. I haven't been completely sure where that is supposed come out. It could be just by taking care of children while a mom picks up the pieces of her life. There could be other opportunities through this, who knows. But I'm so glad God has been building this desire, because no matter what is going on in their lives, these moms are having a rough time. It's easy to judge them for whatever got them to this point, but life is never that easy. Pray for them. Pray for souls. Pray for God to mend the brokenness. Pray that we wouldn't be seen as the bad guys, not for our sakes, but so that we would have opportunities to minister to parents when possible. Who knows what God will do, we've learned not to guess.
We are so excited for the opportunity we are being given to love these children, Love them as God Loves us.
2 comments:
I will be praying! Even if it is a simple, "Lord, help her." when you come to mind. :) And yes, I was totally that person who thought, "They really want your money," but now that it's me, I'm like, the gift of your money is so humbling, and I'm grateful, but really, truly, with all my heart, if you promise to pray? That is the biggest thing in the world.
Yes, Lynn! Already God is teaching me so much about what it really means to pay for each other. Now that I feel like I might not be able to take my next breath from the weight of what God is calling us to, I am realizing that prayer is exactly what we need from each other. Why has it taken me 30 years to truly grasp that? The Vaughns will certainly be praying for the K.J. Pughs.
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