Reality

I have been meaning to post this for a few weeks, but I haven't made the time.  I was reminded to do so last night.

A few weeks ago a friend of mine who is also a business partner was commenting about her transition from the work place to being a work from home mommy.  She said she felt like a personal maid and then went on to praise my homemaking skills and say something about wishing she could run her household like me.  I think my jaw may have fallen to the floor as I proceeded to chuckle out loud and say, "Have you seen my house?"  Which she hasn't so it was really a stupid redundant question.  She said something like, "But you make your own laundry soap and everything."  To which I responded, "Yeah because it costs $1 to make every six to eight months, not because I am a great home maker we live in a constant state of a disaster area."  Ok, those were not my exact words, but they were to that effect. 

I then felt convicted if I have ever put forth the impression that we have it all together in the Vaughn household.  Let me tell you, WE DO NOT!  I post things like making my own laundry soap because who would have known it was so easy and cheap.  It is not to say I have it all together it is more like take heart if you wish to do the same, because if I can do it you can to.

As I currently take a look around the living room every flat surface is cluttered with toys, paper, etc., and I will probably not clean it or at least not all of it before the sun goes down so when I wake up it will all be there to welcome me in the morning.  My bedroom is piled with dirty laundry most (or clean waiting to be put away) of the time and my bed hardly ever gets made.  I would take a picture to prove it, but my husband is taking a nap because he came home sick.  And upon the sight of a sick husband I had a meltdown because I selfishly needed his comfort, which he wasn't providing, because, "Hello self, he was sick."

I rewash most loads of laundry these days because they smell by the time the dryer can get changed over.  My kids watch way too much tv, waaay too much.  I don't come up with creative ideas for my kids breakfasts and lunches.  It's pretty much a variety of the same old same old.  And to be quite honest that's the way my eldest likes it.  Who, by the way, puts up a fight every night for dinner which makes it very hard to want to cook new things for my family.  He also is repulsed by anything green and sweet potatoes are one of the only veggies he will touch right now.

My children are in the terrible twos together, or whatever you want to call it because neither are two,  and I loose my patience with them quickly and easily.  Getting out and running helps my patience but I hate to sweat and I hate to run in the cold so that gives me about two weeks of motivation and the rest is discipline, which I lack, so I never get consistent enough to get momentum.  True story: a few weeks ago I was having an anxious moment meltdown and I literally started pulling my hair and it made me fell better.  I wasn't pulling it out, but I felt like the poster child for the phrase, "I'm about to pull my hair out."

My eldest can read and is becoming pretty good at writing letters and words, but little of that is attributed to me.  I helped him along the way some, but most of it is God-given, like 90%-95%.

If Sterling wakes up before 8 I usually nap on the couch until I hear Ann Elizabeth in her crib.  Did I mention the laundry in my room?  Well, the truth is it piles up in little pockets all over the house.  I have about an hour's worth of productive motivation in the morning.  If I don't choose to do housework in that hour (or if I have a little girl whining at my leg) it doesn't get done for the day.  I try to get on top of everything and get organized, but by the time it all gets done, I have to start over and that is overwhelming.  And we are going to throw another kid or two in the mix and while that excites me it also makes me very anxious sometimes!

Many times my husband comes in from work and I panic because I haven't thought about what I would cook for the day.

Oh and I don't always get a shower everyday, since I usually try to convince the kids to stay in if it is too hot, that doesn't really bother me. (Sterling does not like to go outside by himself)

So, I hope my honesty lets you in on what our lives really look like from day to day.  I don't think anybody means to paint a flowery picture online, but I think I personally just try to forget the hard things.  However, since seeing that others struggle too is what helps me not feel like a complete failure, I hope I our crazy house will make you feel better about your own crazy house.

The whole house is napping now, so I am going to go get that shower today.