You Are the Boss - SACH continued

As a teacher I taught kindergarten. This was my favorite age for many reasons. One of these reasons was everything about school at this age is so new and exciting. Another is you have the chance to influence a child's ideas about school.

Almost every child (even those fearful of leaving their parents) come to kindergarten with a sense of awe and excitement. They love getting to use their new "big kid" school stuff. They have a little cubbie all their own with their very own name on it spelled out on a colorful sticker. They get to sit at a table with new friends. They get to learn so many new things. They even get to take their money and pay for their own food all by themselves (or punch in their "secret code" to pay for it). They get to walk down the colorful hallways with their friends to new and exciting places. Everything is an adventure.

But so many kids also come to find there is a big problem with kindergarten.

We are all sinful creatures, even those precious little five-year-olds. Any parent can see this is true, whether they want to admit it or not. Children, in their sinful hearts, wish to resist authority. They do not like someone telling them what to do. We are all self-serving creatures who would rather have our own way. Here lies the problem.

See, when one adult is in charge of the education and well-being of 16-22 five-year-olds there are certain standards that must be complied with. A teacher does not have the luxury (as many parents think they do) of letting their class do whatever they want. Imagine walking into a classroom of 20 kids doing whatever they wanted! None of us would have an education if this were the case. Teachers are not just mean and want the children to have a bad time at school. They give rules and carry through with consequences because they care about the education of their class.

You may say, this is true of all teachers so why single out kindergarten. Because this first year of school is unique in this, many children come to school and this is their first encounter of someone who will carry through with the consequences if rules are broken. And so the clash begins. Believe me I've seen it!

So many children today come from homes where the parents do not believe this important fact: YOU ARE IN CHARGE. Of course most parents have rules, but most children quickly learn rules are to be broken.

Here is an example from the book: It begins so innocently with a mother who has fixed oatmeal for her child for breakfast. The child says "I don't want oatmeal!" Instead of the mother saying, "Sweetheart, this is what I've made for you today because it is good for you and will help you grow. Maybe we can have something you like better tomorrow, but today we are having oatmeal," she asks the child "Well, what would you like dear?" and pours the oatmeal down the drain and starts over.

Now, this seems at first glance innocent and like a caring mother. What mom doesn't want their children to be happy? But over time what does it teach the child? I make the decisions, as Tripp says, "the parent only suggests the options." This is not saying that the child can never make a decision. But you see the difference here. You know what is best and it is our responsibility as parents to be the authority.

This is such a great quote from the book "Being a parent means working on God's behalf to provide direction for your children." God has given parents the responsibility of raising the child, not as the parents see best, but as He instructs in his Word. He has given us the authority to act as an ambassador of himself. We are God's agents and should act like it! When we hold our children to God's standards we are teaching them about God's holiness and our own depravity. (more on this later)

With this authority, however, comes great responsibility. We must carry out God's agenda and not our own! Dr. Tripp points out that we discipline our children because they have sinned against God, not against us. Therefore, we should be able to point out the specific sin they have committed.

This means as parents we cannot bully our children to do whatever we want, there should be a Biblical reason they are being disciplined. For example, if your child is watching a program on TV it is not okay to come up to the child and take the remote because your favorite show is on, then when they do not obey you discipline them. However, if you feel that they have been watching TV for long enough you do have the right to tell them, "Sweetie, that is enough television for now, why don't you go outside, we could play a game, or we could read a book," etc. Not that you can point to a verse that says Thou shalt not watch TV :) . However, the idea of being lazy is discussed countless times throughout scripture. Just take a look at Proverbs. And this kind of instruction should demand obedience, just as God demands our obedience.